Own It, And Lose The Mid-Life Crisis.
According to this article in the Guardian, people are most worried and anxious between the ages of 40-59.
Ever stop to ask why?
Could it be that in a person’s 20s and 30s, they are busy progressing in their careers, finding partners and settling down? Then maybe throwing a child or two into the mix.
Maybe they are so busy achieving at that age, that it can be pretty fulfilling.
And then the 40s hit, along with the mid-life crisis.
Did you ever wonder why people have such a thing as a mid-life crisis?
Well, having reached the grand old age of 43, and my husband 42, we are just coming out the other side of this. And we have a lot of friends in the same boat.
You’ve got to the point where you have a steady job, a spouse and kids, plus a mortgage, and then you discover that this is what the rest of your life is going to look like. Working to pay the bills, and struggling to make ends meet, until you grow old enough to retire and die.
This is the age where so many people look around and realise that they are half way through their life, and the rest of their life is already mapped out for them. And I’m telling you, it doesn’t lead to much that’s positive.
So why do people go off with someone much younger, or just trade their partner in for someone else? And why do they rack up debt on their credit cards? Or emigrate to another country?
Because they are bored with the sameness of it all. They need adventure, excitement, and just a little bit of the thrill of living back.
Instead they just feel stuck.
So, what next?
Well, there’s the good news, and the bad.
First, the bad news is: each one of us is 100% responsible for the life we currently have.
We created it by the decisions we made.
However, accepting this brings us to the good news.
And the good news is that once we accept that we are 100% responsible for our lives, we realise that we are the only ones who can turn things around. I mean, maybe some of us can blame others for driving their car into us at full speed, or betraying us, or whatever. However, we are the only one responsible for what we do with what we’ve got, for creating our dreams anyway.
Then there is no waiting around for that lucky break, bemoaning how easy others have it. There is only creating that lucky break for ourselves.
We stop waiting around for god/the universe to drop opportunities/riches into our laps, and we get our butts out of the chair and do something about it for ourselves. And we decide what we want our lives to look like, and get busy creating that.
All the self-help, inspirational books that exist within the whole universe will not help unless we put the advice into action. And all the platitudes and self-affirming mantras will stay just that, unless we do something about them.
So when Brent and I took stock, and found there were things in our life that we were not happy with, we made a plan. And then we acted upon it. It is really amazing just how much one can accomplish when one has a daily schedule; when one is not purely winging it.
I have always resented being tied to a routine. I’m more of a spur-of-the-moment, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal, but honestly, once I got that routine in place, it totally set me free.
It allowed me to have more intentional time with the kids, more intentional homeschooling time, more intentional play. And it also gave me time to myself to do things like write this blog.
So how about it? How about identifying the areas you are unhappy with, accepting that only you can change them, and then start making the changes?
Even if you can only change 1% right now, do that. It will have a ripple effect on the rest of your life, and before you know it, teeny little 1% will have turned into a whopping great big number. It will require determination and discipline but why not go for it? After all, no one else will do it for you, so who better for the job than you?
And listen, I’m not saying to quit your job and head off into the great unknown without any source of income or savings. Be sensible. Change is incremental. Do it wisely, but do it. Do it.
Thanks for reading!
See you next time!
Oh, and If you want to read the incredible true story of Hal Elrod, a man who was involved in a terrible car accident, died, was resuscitated and then told he would never walk again; who did walk again and then become a top salesman and a keynote/motivational speaker and author, then check out his book: The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed To Transform Your Life (Before 8am). I’ve only just started reading it, but it’s already blowing my socks off!
Also, check out my article on the importance of writing down your goals here.